"Someday soon i'm gonna tell the RAINBOWS i'm in LOVE:D" -One Fine Day, Morrie

Hullo there, u invisible anonymous readers. Its been a while since i've actually updated my blog. And im telling u first things first, i do NOT keep promises. And the last time i said i promised to continue this story. Well, i'm too lazy and too busy not caring to continue because uno, that dude is gone, and he's never coming back here to work again, YAY! I knew God has better plans for me. He always f does:) as it turns out, i wasn't the only one having problems with that douschebag. Ah, well the rest is history and may he be just another history i'm never gonna remember. Anyways, i'm finally studying in a college and i'm a student now, YAY ME:DDDD *LondonTiptonClaps* but being a student is not as easy as it seems. Not the studying part. Just the part whwre there is a need for me to stand out because there are so many talented ones in my class.its my 4th week now in this college and hopefully i'll be able to get through this well. Remember high school?:)

"It Has To Be So Lonely, To Be The Only One Who's Holy" 'Playing God, Paramore (Part I)

 Once Upon A 2011...
(idk the exact conversation, but it goes something like this...)


   "Sa, Meja 17 tambah ape?"


ME:"Taktau..."


   "Tambah nasi berape?"


ME:"Ntah... tkde sape bagitau pun."


  "Mai roo... Arai tee roo mung.... 
(taktau.... Ape yang ko tau?)..Makan je tau..."




 SHUT. THE. FUQ. UP.


It's my life. I decide if i want to be fat or skinny. Why does it concern you so much that you have to look down and criticize everything i do. You seriously don't have a life so GET OUTTA MINE! Unlike you, i don't have time to care about something that doesn't even have anything to do with me.


I don't get it with this kinda people. These kinda lowlifes who have nothing to do but to have a say in anybody's decision. In whichever ways' possible, there's no way you can't get out of them bitching about you no matter how you tried to befriend them. They're just no satisfying result to them. But only 'till recently have i learnt the reason why.
THEY JUST CAN'T STAND TO SEE YOU AHEAD OF 'EM.
that's right. They cannot stand seeing anybody else having more than they do and what do they do to satisfy themselves? Looking down on you. 


There's this dude who works at my mum's restaurant and you won't believe how old he is once i get you started on my story. He has a say on everything i do. No matter what, he would always criticize me and look down on me. Whenever i made a mistake, he would mock me and say how i'm so smart of doing such a thing. Asshole -.-'. 
The weird thing is, even if i do good, he still would mock me.
If i didn't do much work he would say
"Sa ni malaslah, buatlah kerja skit. Ni sume aku kene buat"
But if i put a little too much effort, he'd say
"Anak tauke sapu sampah, patut tangkap gambar masuk Facebook"


SERIOUSLY? ARE U FUGGIN' KIDDING ME?


I have always been 'the kid' among the employees whereby i used to be the youngest employee and i have a very immature and childish nature. And i'm very quick tempered even for such silly things since i was a kid. And up 'till now, people don't really take me seriously even if i'm 18 now, it's like the age range just keeps getting up whenever i get older. Like 10 years ago, it's 18 and above and now that i'm 18, it's suddenly 21 years and above. Don't go started changing to 30 and above when i turn 21.
Ah well, maybe because i'm still immature and childish. But heck, they pretty much seen me grew up since i was a kid, and i guess their mindset says that i'm still a kid, and i'm immature, therefore i am always wrong.
Now, i admit that there are a lot of incidents involving me not admitting i'm wrong and mostly i am. But just because i'm mostly wrong, it does not mean i am never right. And infact, i WAS right about him. It wasn't my quick-temper at all. It was just him. And how glad i was to feel right finally. I'll continue and tell the whole story on the next post, this one is already too long i'm afra.
-Issa




  

"Start Your Day With Coffee~" - 'World In Front Of Me, Kina Grannis'

I'M BACK!!!:DDDDDDDDD


Not really a good news actually considering there are 53 page views and 51 of 'em are mine (not that i'm counting or anything *crossesarmsandlookingelsewhere*) and the other two belongs to my twin sister who have been a big help on me BLOG with the songs and cute pixies~ but there's just one tini-tiny little bit problem. And this toni-tiny little bit problem is the one of the reasons causing me to stop blogging for a while. I DO NOT KNOW WHY THE HELL THE DESCRIPTION STILL BE IN CREAM WHEN I SPECIFICALLY PRESSED BROWN -.-' don't make me exhale with ma nose. I'm telling ya, things are oughtta get fugly as it already is when i use my failedghetto and exhale with ma nose. But well , patience is a virtue (and i think I'm gonna virtually smack down the color button until it changes my friggin' description color 
(-.-') Ah well, life goes on...Oh, also! i have this HUGE addiction for Kina Grannis':DDD totally random, iknow. But her songs are just so hard to not fall in love with. She's AWESOMEEEE <3 I know i'm kinda late in updating American musicians but heyy, my profession is KPop ad K-indie. Heh. Oh Speaking of K-Indie, i think i'm gonna be posting an ongoing post about K-indie. Just a lil' amateur review and what's currently on my K-Indie playlist although nobody would probably read my blog, but i want to promote K-Indie as much as i'm able to:DD wished they could come to Malaysia and do a gig one day (Specifically to 10cm:DDD)
I wouldn't exactly call it a review, i'm just gonna post about why do i love this song and such, even though i am in no position to criticize 'em nor do i have any talents to do so, just for fun. That's what this is about, for fun:)) Fasting month is coming and i'm not getting any thinner~ I should diet before i get diabetes. Ah well, Life goes on~~~


-Issa

"When Randomnosity Strikes..."

kerrPLATSchkobi:)


I love saying this word even though it doesn't make any sense.
it makes my tongue tickle. whenever i'm bored sitting in my room alone, wandering off in Wonderland to find everybody gone, i'll just lie down in bed with my feet leaned upon the wall and stare at the sky through my window and say those words over and over again.
The more i say it, the more i want to say it.

That is all,
-Issa

Ouch!

My eye hurts. I forgot to buy those water droplets again. I stopped by 7-Eleven to find Veets and this other important stuff i wanted to buy but i forgot. so i bought lotsa junkies instead and only remembered when i logged on to my blog. darn it-.-"
-Issa

“It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.” ― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

me and my twin both are avid readers of Lemony Snicket's "A Series Of Unfortunate Events" because of the authors unique and interesting way of pulling the readers' interest with his mysterious techniques on how to make us stick 'till the 13th book. All he did was warned us that it wasn't 'A Happy Ending'. Easy right? well, as the watch of the 12th book "THE PENULTIMATE PERIL" alarmed when it struck 12 o'clock, WRONG! it is simply difficult to do that and yet, this author knows just when to slot in that warning in the perfect timing of the book. I gotta say,well played mr. Snicket.I admire him for his smart quotes that leaves you a mark no matter how confusing it is but you just couldn't help but admire it for being very interesting and one of a kind like "The moral of Snow White is never eat apples". Also, noticed how he likes to take black and white pictures without revealing his face?that's what i loved most about. he's one very mysterious man with lots of secrets, lots of dangerous secrets that once you find out, you yourself can't get out of the situations. ooo,gives you the chill,ain't it?

"Well-read people are less likely to be evil"

 But i have just found out that Lemony Snicket was only his pen name. His real name was Daniel Handler (and he's not dead yet, YAY:D) 

He's playing a melodeum *BIGGRIN*

he was born on 28th February (just 3 days after mine:D) 1970. Good thing he's still writing. I'm still hoping on meeting him and ask him for a signature on a book i currently posessed right now. It's interesting though, the way i get that book, i'll get back to you on that on other posts. After finally seeing his face, i was abit...taken aback. Well, i was expecting older but seeing him quite young but able to write such fantastic books had made me realize how amazing he is and made me respect him more and more. I wish i could read his other books. I'll try my best to possess all his work, there's this book called "The Beatrice Letters". Only did i discovered this book when i was researching bout him and found out it was published in between his 13th and last book.

It was said to be connected to the 13th book. That's when i realized i had missed out something important amidst finishing the book. The first book had already left me struck on the name Beatrice but all i could figure out was she was the late lover of Lemony Snicket and she was murdered(?) by Count Olaf but after i almost reached the last book, Beatrice was once again a question mark for she was more than a credit,she was part of the character too, which means Lemony Snicket was involved as well.It was proved in the 7th book "THE VILE VILLAGE" where they came across Lemony Snicket's brother but soon killed by the villagers for being mistakin with Olaf with such believable disguise and the 12th and 13th book, "THE PENULTIMATE PERIL" and "THE END" where they came across Lemony Snickets' pregnant sister who died at the end of the book as well after being shot with a harpoon gun but thank goodness the baby was born. The ending had left the deepest meaning when the baby is said to mention the Bauldelaire's mother's name. "Beatrice". up until now, i still don't know where the sugar bowl is, or whether their parents are really dead or alive, or if the Quagmire triplets and Hector is safe up in the air, or what happens to the bearded man with no hair and the hairy woman with no beard, all is unsolved.And yet, like all the other books, another series was left with as what Lemony Snicket had mentioned, "Solved a mystery to unveil more unsolved mysteries"
-Issa

"이제 노래를 불러줄게~~" - 선물할게,옥상달빛

I just found out the name of this instrument:DDD *BIGGRIN*. It's called 'Melodica'. I have been searching for the names for so long. Korean indie musicians use this instrument a lot and it gives off the type of French street musicians where they play by the Eiffel Tower or the Louvre with their guitar case open and people would throw in a penny or a dollar. That kinda vibe makes me feel like a traveller sort of journal theme song.I wanna learn how to play this instrument.I read in this article where the title says something like "Musical Instruments Indie Should Stay Away From" and this was one of the instruments,and the reason was stupid. It was "You Look Stupid Playing Them". -.-' seriously, sue me for wearing pants because i'm a girl.Can't they find a better reason to count this in? I don't give a damn of what that BS article says. I think it's cool and the the more colourful they are, the cuter they seem to me:D wish i could be a traveller and a street musician. If i was there right now and watching the street musicians singing while playing their guitar and melodica, singing happily with all the people around them smiling, enjoying free music, i would give them 50 bucks:)

-Issa

After Much Shitload(s) Of Suffering...

I know how insignificant this story is for it has to go on for 3 posts cause' this story seems to not have an end to it and i myself couldn't bring up the courage to why i didn't mention my own reason of suffering because it is too absurd that even i myself couldn't help but think how absurd it is to the point where i keep telling myself to stop getting hurt by such absurd reasons but we, humans,known taxonomically as Homo sapiens, Latin for "wise man" or "knowing man"(Again, i Google-d that up to make this post dramatic) always have this indeniable feeling whereby we do not want to feel hurt by it, but no matter how much we want to demolish the pain, we can't help but feel it, because it just couldn't be helped. And i was being indenial right now to stop myself from getting those feelings for i know myself and i know what i'm capable of when i let my anger take over me. As i was suppose to be saying, after much,much anger hidden and held by my clenching teeth and my tight face with an earphone still stuck on the left side of my ear, i finally brought up the courage to ask my mum about those matters. About why, i couldn't be satisfied with the reason if it wasn't for my mum, and like humans, we have regrets. And i, too regret that i had hurt my mum's feelings with such small seemingly-meaningless words but deep and full of thorns in my mum's heart. Because, after listening to my mum's reason, i came to realize how sharp my blade of words were to my mum, because her reason was just out of mother's instinct and concern for their child. Just like any other mother would do if they see their daughter being so fatigue even under the situation where she needed me the most, she sacrificed herself for me. Come to think of it, she sacrificed a lot for me and the whole family. Imagine a restaurant weighing a family of 8, one of 'em is already a family of 3, a wife and a daughter. Not gonna say anymore *smacklips* All i could do now is keep myself away from the thought of this matter to get myself away from the suffering for i know the grief is too much for me. And thanks to God, i manage to avoid myself from those bothersome thoughts.And so, life goes on....
-Issa

As The Suffering Continues....

I spent all day being grumpy. One thing 'bout me being grumpy when i'm working is i HATE to smile and rather focus on my work instead to control my anger. I have this anger management:/ And abit of advice of how to handle anger management people who's actually REALLY angry but using work to distract oneself from flipping out :  Don't EVER ever not even a slightest thought say "What's with the face? cheer up.SMILE". I'm not an expert on this anger management just yet for i still have anger to manage up until now but i for one do not like it when people bother my calm and focus zone. If i don't feel like smiling, i won't. I would react to how i really felt like no matter what. And when i do feel stressed out about something, the one thing i hate is...SMILE.Sorry, but that's just me. And it ticks me just enough that i was stressing out from depression and using hectic work to stop myself from being depressed again but seriously speaking, saying 'SMILE' does not make the situations any better. Logically thinking, people who does work while smiling could be deemed a little bit cuckoo in my opinion.But really, all i need is time, and working time is all it takes for me to calm down, and i did. I manage to pull off a few jokes and laughed abit but it didn't last long as i expected. It wasn't until my mom started mentioning the reason of my depression.Oh The Grief! Sigh~.And so, i put on an earphone to the side of where my parents were, so i couldn't hear the hurtful words... and listened to all the possible songs that would made me feel less depressed...Again, time was spent,with another SHITLOAD...of suffering.

-Issa

"Suffering..." - 500 Days Of Summer

Today....was depressing. I couldn't express how depressing i was...because it was so depressing.It was really... suffering.

"A Shitload Of Suffering Is What I'm Saying..."

 

 

 

 

 

"하나,둘,조금씩..."

Hello there:) okayy,awkwardness overload. HAHA! this is probably my 3rd blog (after constantly failing the former two due to continuous overload of laziness and misinterpreting personality :/ eeep!) I'm trying my best to keep it real this time. i'll fix my Tumblr later, too lazy to update everything.LOL i know what you're thinking. For some of you avid-bloggers you might think "How can this bastard be so lazy to update when it's sooo fun to blog *BIGGRIN*". No offense, i LOVE to write and i have to say i do have the enthusiasm, Heck i love talking. It's just that i don't write as much as i talk coz' i seemed to get stuck between vocabulary and explosive impact in writing like one of those SAT words that you had to look up to a dictionary to know what it means or  Google it, HAHA! but i guess it's time to face the reality. I'm not like one of those fast learners who has a hidden and peculiar talent in writing. (heehee, i just Googled 'peculiar', i swore it was at the tip of my tongue, BUSTED!) I guess i just have to be one of those underdog writers who gets either an 'A' or barely passed an 'A-' in English but just really loves writing. I am one of those who would take their time to think of a word to start and once a word is written down, its impossible to stop:) you might spot me repeating a few similar words, so... mind my vocabulary. The last two blogs, one of 'em in Tumblr had failed because...well,it's hard to put it this way but as what Mad Hatter said to Alice "You lost your muchness"... but it wasn't that i lost my muchness, it was that i thought i had my muchness but it turns out i was never much enough to be much more muchier than i was, i was never much enough. (Don't say i didn't warn you.) i'm trying so hard to be muchier but it's not as easy as it looks, sometimes you still need to explore and need to study more to be muchier, and i'm only 18. To make a puzzle, you need to be smart and creative enough to create a puzzle where only you know how to answer, and my puzzle was just too simple even for a 5 year old to solve,there was no confusion and no intelligence to make them a puzzle. And so, i've realized that i should just keep it real and be satisfied with what i already am. I'll just write what i feel like instead of trying so hard to amaze others, just pleasing myself is enough to be amazing:DDD And with this blog, i will write what i want. I can write whatever i want. It's not like i can't be whimsical anymore. I can write whimsically when i'm feeling whimsical, oh! and no more FanFiction in this blog! Ugh, that was the biggest failure. Promising a friend to write a fic about her and her boyfriend is NOT a good idea when they suddenly broke up! and i barely made the 10th Chapter:s suckish friend am i. Good thing she was my Internet friend from Hawaii, Half Korean Half Japanese. Hemi was her name. Miss her though:'( She was wonderful. I'll talk about her on my other posts. Anyway, it's great to finally start a blog again and hopefully i could write faster and sooner for my next post.I'll introduce myself on the next post, too lazy to type it out on the same post coz' i'm pretty sure u guys are bored enough to read this one, let alone writing my whole journey of being an 18 year old rebel who has imbalanced self-esteem and can sit under the willow tree talking for HOURS and HOURS about my life..NGEE~~~ i don't mind of nobody reads my blog but i appreciate it if you do and put alot of interest in 'em:)))) and if i don't stop now, i have a strong feeling in my gut that nobody's gonna read this. But hey, once a word is written down, its impossible to stop :)

"1,2,3 오른발 왼발" Sweet Step,요조:)

Signing out,
Issa